Lately, my time is usually being spent in front of my PC - checking, researching and finding ways to earn extra so we could be able to save for our future. I want to have one so bad that I search most all day for the past 2 days now, with lunch and dinner as my only break time. No wonder my eyes feel tired and heavy all the time. I've never been obsessed like this before - I've never wanted something so much that it takes me hours to research about it. Just this morning, I saw an episode of "Kabuhayang Swak na Swak" about an entrepreneur who is making it big in business of selling UP inspired t-shirts and right threre and then, I suddenly felt that this too is the business for me. I've again searched on the net and was able to get some infos on how to start up one. First, you must have your own design for your tshirts. I don't know how to draw, I am not so good in creating logos and designs, but I do know one who is good at it... My kuya Elmer! Once I was able to start this biz, I would ask him to work for me instead. It would definitely help him raise my nephew. The other things to consider are finding the right machines to print the designs on the shirt, looking for the best tshirt suppliers and where to market the items. Among the latter three, finding the best tshirt supplier will be the most challenging thing to do but I do believe that once I was able to study the ins and outs of the business...everything will go well. I hope all my prayers will be granted. Thank you for the desires of my life Lord, Amen!!!

Sometimes I feel most of my decisions in life is a failure. I should have done this, I should have chosen that...but through all these failures , I feel that God is always leading me to the right path..that whenever I feel down, He is always ready to pick me up so I can starts all over again. I'm not sure if I have chosen the right road to take - I am not even sure where life would lead me. Most of the time are spent thinking of what will happen in the future. I am always dreaming of a better tomorrow, when in fact, I could make that dream into reality NOW. I need guidance Lord, especially in where I want to be 5 years from now. Please help me make the right decisions. Help me be the person you want me to be. Guide me Lord and I know with you in my life...I would never be wrong. Amen.

Just yesterday, two of my teammates lost their jobs. It's so sad. I know they've done their best to stay on their current positions but the management already decided. They need to leave. One of them made the company his second home for five years and in just a snap...all the priviledges was taken away from him. Good thing, he still can get his retirement pay. The company provides retirement pay to those who had at least 5 years tenureship. The person fought till the end, even rendered overtime to improve his performance for the month..but he wasnt able to improve his scorecard for the month that's why he needs to be on forced resignation to still get his retirement pay. I barely know the man, I just met him last month as he is a newbie in the team but I will never forget his perseverance and his willingness to fight till the end...I think that's what matters most... he never gave up, at least he had no reasons to regret that he did not gave his all. I just feel sad because I was'nt able to know him better, I could have learned something from him. Well, that's life. I just pray that his next endeavor would be more successful than this one.

Saturday and Sunday were my restdays for the week. My friends are inviting us our last Saturday for a night out as Peejay does have free ticket invites at a famous comedy bar. Thought I would love to go… I decided not to join as I feel really tired I don’t know why I always feel that I need simple rest as things really get clogging in my brain, I feel I need to rejuvenate myself by resting and first reasons myself. I’m already 29 years old and I still don’t know is that what’s my next step after cvg. All I know is that I would be returning from work on the next two years - get my early retirement pay and have a good life. I know I want to have a business but that part is not clear either. I need my rest to take. Unfortunately – I again wasn’t’ able to go to church today. I wast I would just wake up one day and everything in my life in proper place.

Wow! Summer is here! I can feel it through the hot wind blowing on my face when I go for a walk after shift...and what's the best thing to do during summer? What else but swim! Waaahh, speaking of which...our team will have a team building at Mango Camp Zambales and instead of being excited...I'm kinda scared. I will be going out with beautiful, skinny people for God's sake! Huhuhu. I know I should not be intimidated and should at least just flaunt whatever I have (whatever it is!) instead of having a self pity and just lock my door up and say "NO" to the world! But to be honest with you...I can't help it..not that I don't want to see them having fun with their pettite sexy bodies..it's just that I also want to have one like them. That's the very reason why I've decided to go to they gym with my dear friend Mamu. Well gonna go to Red Corner at the Holiday Inn come first of April and would do my best to knock off the pounds again. I won't say anything anymore - almost all my plans of losing weight had failed so far..just check my posts if this one came to materialize soon. hehehe.

I've been working so hard nowadays both on my day job and online venture so I could save and put up a small business in the future.I've realized that I am not getting any younger and I need to have a fix plan on how I want my life would be in the next five years...and you know what - just recently, I just suddenly realized what business I want to put up in the future. I think a Sizzling House would be a great investment. Why? First, you really don't need to know how to cook different dishes because the menu purely consists of sizzling viands - the only think you need to master is the art of sizzling fish, chicken, pork and beef. I just need to know how to make the most tasty gravy/steak sauce to make my sizzling dishes stand out. Second, the starting capital is not that high... you just need to invest on a good cookware and few pieces of sizzling plates. Third, it's not hard to find the recipe for the dish because as I mentioned a while ago, you just need to find a good supplier who will sell the cheapest pork, beef, fish and chicken without compromising it's quality. I can't wait for that time when I would now be able to put up such business. What's good is that I was able to find a site that would help aspiring entrepreneurs like me to get the best Business Loans! Through BusinessCreditMagic.com - I was able to know that you can get the best Business Credit available! They offer up to $250,000 in Unsecured Business Credit with NO Personal Guarantees - They don't even need your Social Security! Nowadays, you need to know who to trust and with their 7 years of Experience and Research in Unsecured Business Financing through their sister company EZunsecured.com - the leader in Business and Personal Loans. Don't wast your time calling anyone else...check their site or call 1-800-6168007 for more information about this great offer.

Another wonderful day spent with my mother. We met her @ SM North Edsa food court and as always, we ate out and kwentuhan to the max. I miss this gimik moment I have with her because I was'nt able to see her for 2 weeks. She went to Bangued Abra to reunite with her siblings. I knew she had a very good time, I can tell from the stories she happily share with me and Jojo. We ate at KFC, each of us finished a Fully Loaded Meal! Hahaha, it's really a very pleasant experience...eating a heavy meal while sharing good experiences. After a hearty meal, we decided to watch Sarah and John Lloyd's movie "You Changed My Life" but upon seeing how many people are eagerly waiting on the line for the same movie...we decided to just call it a day and we would just watch the movie tomorrow @ Waltermart. Yipee! Besides, mama does have a lot of things to do as she promised to make three blouses for me. I really appreciate Mama and I am thankful that she is still with us. I told her about her friend Lola Vicky, our neighbor, who passed away last February 26 (if I remember it correctly)> The old woman does'nt have any sickness at all, and then one day...according to her husband - she felt dizzy and so his husband sent her to the hospital where she gave up. It was really a shocking news for us as we always see her with his apo roaming within the neighborhood. I pray that she is now with the Lord and I pray that wherever she is...she is now happy with the Lord. Another reminder for all of us that LIFE IS SOOOO SHORT, we must appreciate and seize the day. Let us always remind ourselves that we are only given a very limited time here on earth to prove that we deserve eternal life in heaven with our Dear God, let's not waste that opportunity. I know that I am saying this things because I am also encouraging myself to go back to church. I hope and pray God would lead me to a Church in which I could grow as a Christian and where I could serve Him with all my might. I hope I can make my stay here on earth worthwhile. Amen.

I just finished doing an entry for an opps and it feels great to be back in business. I want to revive back my passion to blog and make money online through it. Lately I've been busy doing some extra curricular activities with my friends that I overlooked my tasks. Many opps had lapsed at those time but I don't regret a thing...I was able to gain new and wonderful friends - well they are more of a family to me and that was more than enough.

Anyways, I came to the office at 5:26 AM... late again. Hayyy...I don't want to be late anymore but what can I do? It's really hard to get up at 3:30 in the morning - so I just gave in to the urge and stayed in bed until 4:10 am. It's nice that TL is not around...if he is, I bet he would again get my attention. Mamu, my gay friend, just showed up but went home early as well so I was just left with Ice, Melai and Perl. The que is not that much, in fact, at 1:00 PM - we were approved for VGH (Voluntary Go Home). Since the innaguration of President Obama, our que decreased tremendously that our SLT's allowed us to go home. I just spent some time with Melai and PJ as we ate Siomai at Siomai House and believe me...it only cost me P33 for a 5 pcs siomai with gulaman. Hehehe. TIpid tipid talaga kami because we have a goal...well that's one and the second is...I don't have enough budget this month. I received P10,000 last Jan 15th and it should be more than enough for me...but it's still not. Maybe a realiable money management is the answer.

I came home at 3PM. Jojo was surprised to see me go home that early. I am happy that Jojo already did the laundry and had a general cleaning in the house. I can see it through the carpet he neatly laid on the floor. He already finished cooking our lunch which is Paksiw na Bangus. I ate three cups of rice today because of that... huhuhu.

All in all, my day was fine. I am able to do the first step in reviving back my passion to blog (which is this post) and I am able to write an entry for my PR2 blog. I hope that the events tomorrow would be as smooth as it is today. Amen.

Today is my father's birthday. The original plan was to celebrate the birthday celebration here at our place but Papa has other plans since his "barkadas" will have a drinking spree on their house. I know papa is happy now with his life along with his new family. I just hope and pray to God that He would give him looooooooooong and healthy life with us.

Today is also Eddyson's 1st birthday. We will celebrate it tomorrow @ Jollibee StarMall.

To the birthday celebrants...God Bless and may the good Lord shower you with overflowing blessings all the rest of your lives...

I really can't get why a friend acts the way she is acting right now. She's being possessive in a way. I can't really get it. We've been friends and been together for almost 2 years now and she would always be a friend to me...but lately she's acting so weird. It seems like she does'nt want me to be close to my new teammates. She wants me to be closer to her than to my gay friend. She feels left out though never in our wildest imagination would we want her to feel that way. It's just I and a gay office mate clicked and whenever we are together - expect no dull moment promise and I am enjoying it! My new found friend is one of my main reasons why I am still here in my current work and if he would leave, I think I would asked to be transferred to another site. I hope and pray that my girl friend would change and stop being jealous. She texted me saying she want's to revive back our friendship but she is acting opposite of what she is saying. She can't get all our attention on her. She needs to grow up!


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lamotera

OCTOBER 20
MONDAY, 3:33 AM

Today is my bestfriend's 3rd year death anniversary... and I really do miss her terribly. If she was alive up to this day, most likely...she is already working overseas as she plans to be a part of an international shipping cruise and is preparing for it when it all happened. She was diagnosed with Leukemia, a type of cancer that is found on the blood. As she explained her sickness to me before, I've learned that her body is producing more white blod cells than red ones which our body needed. While explaining to me all those medical terms... I can feel from her voice that she does have high hopes of overcoming this deadly disease. She mentioned that what she have is the weakest type of Leukemia that can be healed. I knew she could make it, she is a fighter. We've been friends for almost all our lives. We became friends when we were in our 2nd year high school and since then we never left each other's side. We became rivals when it comes to who will be the salutatorian...she won. Other candidates protest...but not me. I won't and even if given a chance... I will keep silent. I don't want to hurt her and ruin the friendship we've built for almost 3 years at that time. What's surprising is that on her Salutatory speech...she offered her medal to her bestfriend... yup, I heard she offered her medal to me as she spoke my name and that's more than enough honor than being the salutatorian itself. After high school, we still keep in touch. She never forgotten to invite me in their celebrations and I usually attend. Everything goes very well, we even had an outing together a year before she died. We had an overnight swimming in a resort somewhere in Laguna with her bf, my bf and our gay bestfriend Pipa. It was one of the most enjoyable outing I ever attended...never knowing that it would be the last time Vhine would grace us with her presence...

I received a text from another friend, Odette, informing me that Vhine is not feeling well lately and ask me to call because our barkada is at Vhine's place visiting her. At first, I thought it is just a flu or a minor cough and cold kind of sickness...so I called their house and spoke with them. I still does'nt have a hint of what her sickness is...so I just say hi and had a small chitchat with them as I am not at home and is just using one of those payphones in Cubao where me and my mother is strolling.

Then, one day...I received a text from my gay friend informing me that Vhine is diagnosed with a disease called Leukemia. I was bothered. I decided to visit her in the hospital in which she is confined to and I never thought that the damage of her sickness would be severe. She said she lost her hair, her appetite and her strength. We laughed the whole time I was right there and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who never left her despite of what she is going through right now. We laughed and laughed just to forget whats happening and when it's time to bid goodbye...her sister told me that the doctors told them that Vhine does have approximately 4 months to live. I was stuck and at first I did'nt believe it. In my heart and in my mind I know that she can have more than this so I told myself that it's impossible. Vhine is young and active...she would definitely wont let her disease overcome her. I had one chance to visit her at their house, that's the time she explained to me what her disease is all about and how it could be cured. I thought everything is going really well. In fact, she even attended San Juan Fiesta with us not knowing that it would be the last time I would see her (by the way, that was June 24). I never thought she would be gone very soon. I promised to visit her in the hospital but that never materialized because my schedule won't allow me. I, myself, is having a hard time adjusting to a call center life and I am ready to quit anytime. Everything seems to go from bad to worse.

Then one day, it's my off...I am preparing to go to my mother's house in Montalban when I suddenly received a call from one of our common friends informing me that Vhine already gave up. I was shocked. I did'nt know what to do. I was motionless for a moment then I cried out very loud. I hurriedly called my husband and I asked him to immediately ask his manager if he could go home early as I can't manage this alone. He hurriedly went home and off we went to the hospital where she is located and went straight to the embalming area where I saw my bestfriend's body lying naked...cold...lifeless...I don't recall what happened after that. I feel so much grief as if I lost a very dear sister.

I felt embarassed of myself. If I only knew it would be Divine's last days on earth, I should have stayed with her. Assist her and took care of her...but she is gone now, everything's too late. The only way I could make up to her is to be with her on the last days her body would be in the earth. I never left her, I stayed with her hoping that though she is already dead...she could still feel that I love her so much and that I am sorry for not being with her during those tough times.

At her funeral, I was late but I am praying that I could still see her face for the last time... and just like a miracle...I came exactly at the point that the minister would close the coffin. I still manage to utter my last prayer and then we hurriedly went to the place of burial.

I don't know but since then, I feel like everything changed. I started to value friends more and I started to value my own life. Divine is such a strong girl and never in our wildest imagination would we think that she would leave us so soon. I hope this story of mine would touch my every readers heart so that they could give more importance in life. I hope all of us could live each day to the fullest.

To my bestfriend, wherever she is... I hope is is happy. I know that since she lived for others - I know that she is now with the Lord. Till we meet again my friend, please prepare a room for me, neighbor tayo. I love you and you will always be remembered....

October 15, 2008
Wednesday, 2:45 PM

Lord thank you again for all the blessings you've given us. Thank you for my job and thank you for all my friends. Jojo fetched me at Munoz and right after I got my salary, we had our weekly grocery @ Waltermart. I also had the chance to deposit some money for our monthly savings. I am also happy that things are working really well for Jojo especially on his online venture. I just hope that our online job would continue and I hope we could be able to save for our future. I was late again last night and I really need to make it up to our coach today so I need to sleep early so I could report for work early tonight. Thank you for all the blessings Lord!

Oct. 13,2008
Monday 4:08 am


It's my second day off and its a Sunday. Instead of going to church, I spend the rest of the day in front of my computer...finding ways to earn extra online. This has been a routine and I don't know how to stop it. I know that I was'nt able to go to church service for almost 4 years now (since we me and my Jojo lived together). I know it's not good but still, I don't do anything about it. I want to revive back my faith which has been stagnant for 4 years...though I know that I am blessed to know the TRUTH about salvation - I refuse to obey. Lord I pray that you won't give up on me. I know I have'nt been a good daughter to you and bearer of the good news but Lord, I again offer myself to be a living testimony of how great you are and how good you've been to me. I want to touch other's lives again and again feel your presence inside me. I hope it's not too late Lord. I have been a backslider...but here I am again...asking for forgiveness and hoping you'll take me back. I love you Lord, I know I can still make it up to you. Amen.

October 11, 2008
Saturday, 3:05 PM

I've been so lazy. Actually, I together with my sister Mamu planned to have a "gimik" or drinking session right after their shift today. But since I am on a restday...I really had second thoughts about it. Well...yeah, I know. I was the one who set this all up. I even invited everyone in the team and everyone agreed, but I suddenly felt that they are really not that excited on our gimik. My gay friend did not text me and Ice only texted me 3 hours before their shift ends. I actually woke up very early, 5 am because I was so excited to pick what outfit I would wear but here when they are just going with the flow. To my dismay, I just asked them to postpone the gimik. I will just work on my blogs. Anyway, I have my own gimik later...Odette's 29th birthday. Well, actually, I also is not so sure if I can make it or I would again change my mind and just work on my blogs. Well see. Anyways, I've been craving two things today...Coke Zero and Turon. Thanks to my ever loving hubby Jojo who always gives me everything I want. Here is my delicious merienda for the day...yum!


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lamotera

October 8, 2008
TUESDAY, 6:13 PM

I can't explain what I am feeling today. It's just so happen that a former batchmate, teammate and a friend left the office without saying goodbye to us. We don't even had a clue that he will be resigning. I am talking about our "papang" Pedro Sarcia. We used to call him papang because he is one of the seniors (as in senior citizen) of the team. He is also an ECE graduate like me but the only difference is that he is a licensed ECE! He graduated from CCP, the school where my hubby graduated. We really have a lot in common that's why I felt so sad that he left. Things like this makes me think twice if I would still pursue my plan of sticking with my present employer for three more years especially now that my friends at the office are leaving.

My eyes were opened on the reality that nothing in this world is permanent when my first TL - TL Chrisse was transferred to one of our offices in Bacolod. Then suddenly, my friend and sisterette Ivy followed and went to Dubai. Gherj, one of my closest friends also left to pursure her dream of being a programmer...then Shai, one of my teammates was forced to resign because of her failing scorecards. My batchmates are also planning to leave the company right after we've reached our second year... Julei, Paupau and Niknok (who by the way left already just a few days back) and what's worse...Ice, my closest batchmate and friend at the office is also planning to leave come December together with my gay friend Mamu.

As I mentioned earlier, I dont intend to resign for the next three years because my job pays me well... but with the negative vibes going around the office - I can't help but think twice. I plan to retire three years from now and I intend to have CVG as my last employer before I jump off to another venture which is putting up my own business and be a full time blogger.
Lord, I pray that everything will be OK. Whatever you want to do in my life for your own glory...please make it happen. I trust you and I believe that whatever decisions I may take in the future... I know its all under your will. May you be glorified in everything I do. Amen.